a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
