walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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