? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize