No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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