i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
