I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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