I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
