I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
