Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
