Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
