he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
