glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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