I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
