Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Green mimosas i think yes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
