Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
