If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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