Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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