this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
