OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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