is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
