dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
