Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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