When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize