I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
