How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
