Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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