OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
