can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The adults are the big ones right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
