Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
