Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Pants are for mortals
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