it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
