WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
