Dual....:-)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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