I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
