i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
