worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize