I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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