All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
