I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
