The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
