idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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