Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
