Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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