i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
