I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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