I think i peed on brittanys purse
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
