I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
