You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
