Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
