You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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