WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
