brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize