Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
