Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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