GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
