thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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