I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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