smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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