Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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