i think i have two assholes
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
